The Flight took off From Lohegaon Airport. Lohegaon, a village located in the remote district of Pune, around 40 Kms away from the city. The road to the airport was so scenic, lush green trees in full bloom on either sides of the road. Purple & Mauve colored flowers decorating the highway. Interesting thing about Pune, is the Buffalos residing right in the middle of the road, I guess they still think that its part of the meadows. Just sitting there, not giving a damn to the people honking by. A sight.
Once in the airport, in comes this pretty little thing asking me which flight I wanna board and do I wanna check in my luggage. I been told with my new Lappy, I look more professional. So I give her this look full of attitude, no babes, I am good here.
A memory which will always be etched in my mind, will be the sonic boom of an MIG and the landing of a Sukhoi. It was like an art, this fighter jet touched down in perfection, then the shoot came out and it came to an halt almost in 500 mtrs after which it was taxied to the hangar. Pune airport is used both as a military base and for commercial planes. There were also some old world war planes on display.
I like the Pune Airport, they have kept it pretty simple, and thank god there was no rush of the usual, gujju families and Dubai Departure Creatures AKA Mumbai Airport. And also since the prices of Air Travel have gone up, maybe people prefer going back to their usual mode of transport. So as I enter I hear an announcement saying Passengers of Jet airways Flight 946 are requested to check in and proceed to the security counter. So there I get my Baggage Checked, with the security guy sticking his baton in unmentionable places. I wonder what they tell their wives, “I just physically molested 1000 people today”.
So I am all checked in and ready for departure, only thing I am an hour early, so I decide to show off with my new lappy, but I get bored soon and thought I will speak to someone. I called up one of my friend. Time flies by and lo its time for me to take off. As soon as the announcement is made saying, “Passengers of Jet airways Flight 946 are requested to board the flight”. There’s a mad rush to the counter, reminds me of the Mumbai local trains. People run as if their lives depend on it. I sit there watching people hustling and bustling, fighting out who gets to get more luggage space on top. I decide I will be the last person to board the flight. This reminds me of the Murphy’s law, “People with window seats always arrive last”. But alas, the entire plane was full except my row, which was still empty. So I sit there thinking what an opportunity I have missed.
But then there’s a moment to rejoice, here they come, two gorgeous looking girls, coming right towards me. So one of them comes straight to me and asks me, is this row number 25, I think to myself, “Bimbettes”, don’t u no to read, but of course I ain’t rude enough to talk to these pretty girls like that. Since these girls arrive late, there was no luggage space for them, so they ask me, could I help them with adjusting it somewhere. I Say ‘sure, y not with full grinning smile’. So finally they settle down next to me, one of them starts up small talk, so where are you heading, I was like DUHH, “Chennai”, I gave her a confused look, for a second I contemplated being in the wrong plane. (Ya, I am travelling to Chennai to celebrate the silver anniversary of my birth – Not by Choice though, on a official tour). So we talk for some more time on trivial issues, but I am too bored to entertain them anymore, so I try to sleep for sometime. But no, these dimwits are on a laughing & giggling spree, it was so annoying I mean, there the steward comes and hands them a drink, one of them asks, how much for this, the steward says, no mam, this is complimentary, and there they go giggling for half an hour. I was like are these girls high or something?? Anyways I put on my headphones and ignore them for the rest of the way.
Finally, the pilot just announces that we have arrived and flying over Chennai.”Outside temperature 36 degrees, with cross wind on the runway, so buckle up and sit tight”. As we are flying over Chennai, I noticed this huge cluster of houses, so close to each other, which can give a complex to the slums in Dharavi. Then I see a huge race course, I guess this was twice the size of Mahalaxmi race course. It looked magnificent. Another thing which was pretty unique was the elevated train platforms and tracks, and it was running almost through the heart of the city like a serpentine. Chennai airport being right in middle of the city, when the plane was descending it was almost kissing the rooftops of the low lying buildings.
As we were nearing the runaway, suddenly the plane started vibrating, it touched the runway and bounced and moved sideways, the people almost started screaming. But thank god, the pilot landed the plane safely. I wonder how a low cost airline would react to such kinda crosswinds, because a couple of times when I have been in one of the low cost airlines, they shake vibrantly even when they are on ground!! So that’s that.
While getting down it’s like a custom for the air hostesses to stand at the doorway and give you fake smiles and wish that we would fly again with them. I mean don’t they get sick of giving that fake smile, I had read somewhere if you are forced to give a fake smile, the person goes into depression after a certain period of time!! So I guess they will be needing shrinks pretty soon.
The first thing once you step out, you notice about Chennai, that its bloody hot and humid, identical to Mumbai, only thing in Mumbai it becomes pleasant in the evening but not the case over here. My chauffeur had called me and said that he’s waiting for me outside. So I step out of the airport and I see a guy with a placard saying “Mr. Narsimha, Infosys”. Normally whenever I used to travel by air and used to check out I used to see this placard for different people and think to myself I wish that was me. So I callout the guy and tell him I am Mr. Narsimha. He gives a half smile and offers to carry my luggage, I tell him, that its not much and I can manage. So once in the cab, I try to make some small talk, like how far is the Mcity(the place where Infosys has a huge campus), he says its about 40 kms away, almost an hour.
So I ask the driver, hasn’t it started raining over here, cuz its still hot and humid, I gesture using through hand signals, he starts saying something in Tamil, I tell him, “tamil teriyaadu” which means I don understand Tamil. So he says something in broken English, “no rains here Sir, only summer whole year!!”. I ask the driver to turn on the radio, each frequency he tunes into has only tamil songs nothing else, its like I have come in an Anti Hindi establishment. I heard, people over here, even if they know hindi, they will pretend that they don’t know it.
Anyways after a long long ride, that’s when the idea of this blog was conceptualized in the cab itself, I reached Mahindra City, a huge deserted land where all the top IT & BPO & ITES companies were setup. Soon after I checked into my room, Infy guest houses are as magnificent as ever. A 29 inch plasma screen, comfy Beds, hot shower what else can a man want. So I get changed, relax and wait for my teammates to arrive. My PM arrives at around 10 and we decide to go and get something to eat. As we step out, we ask the guard where the food courts are, he says that all food courts close at 9 and there’s nothing we can get to eat in a 10 mile radius. I wasn’t particularly hungry so I could manage sleeping without eating anything. But still our PM insisted we go and check out everything. So there we go three musketeers, on a BSA ladybird riding into the sunset searching for food. We asked almost every guard on campus and swept every building which had lights on for food, but nothing. After so many excursions, I started feeling hungry and we were even more determined to find food. So in the end we fought with the guards to open up the kitchen, finally one of them had pity on us, they gave us bread jam.
By the time I reached our rooms, I started getting calls for wishing me for my Birthday which went on almost till 1. It was depressing not being among friends and family but still I tried to look at the brighter side. We had to go early next morning for training so I called it a night. Tomorrow was supposed to be my day, where everything will be perfect and everything will happen as I want. But sadly it wasn’t so.
Next day morning we got up, got our breakfast and we were ready for attending the KT sessions in the client centre in Covansys. As soon as we got out from our rooms, we were hit by a heat wave at 8 in the morning. I was thinking to myself if it was gonna be so out in the morning itself how’s it going to be in the mid afternoon. It was almost an hour drive. As we reached the client location I was disappointed to see their office, I guess I am used to be in huge campuses, so I guess I had some expectations, the work place, the people and the infrastructure. I was thinking when I will jump how hard is it gonna be for me to adjust in some other company, if it turns out to b like the one I was in, I wouldn’t have probably survived their long. Infosys is far more liberal in certain aspects. I guess I have now realized the value of my dream company.
We had our sessions at 2 till 5 and after that a Infosys Level meet to discuss how the day went by. That got over and since it was my birthday we decided to go to some beach or some good place. We asked the CAB guy through hand signals to take us to the beach. He only replied, “illa sir, no diesel”, there was a fuel shortage going on only in TamilNadu, giving me enough reasons to hate this place more and more every passing moment. As a last resort we asked the driver to take us to a good restaurant which falls on the way. He was reluctant but agreed in the end. He took us to “The DHABA”. Notice how the “THE” changes the aura of a name. There was a Auto Rickshaw installed on the first floor of the building, guess the owner was fascinated by this famous mode of transport. We had already prepared ourselves that food might not be so great here but fortunately the food was yummy. The funny thing was natives dressed as punjabi’s were serving the food and when we spoke to them in hindi they replied back in tamil!!
This was just the beginning of the nightmare, after we reached home, I started hearing noises in my tummy. Thought must be indigestion or something. But unfortunately it wasn’t so, I had to go twice to the loo, I was praying to god, not now, not here, not today of all days. Somehow I got to bed and at 3 my condition had worsened, bad stomach cramps and motions, I thought I’ll put up with it till morning and go to doctor. But the pains were becoming intolerable, in the end I slept on the bathroom floor, cuz I dint have energy to walk from the bed to the loo. Felt like my stomach is gonna burst, I would rather prefer to die than go through that pain, that’s when I decided it was a emergency and I needed medication ASAP. Normally there’s a doctor on call so called up the security personnel, he said there’s no doctor on campus and they will have to take me to a hospital which is like 15 kms away. I dint wanna go to the hospital cuz I hate it, but the pains had become incessant, so I told him to get an ambulance. Ambulance arrived in five mins, I woke my roomie, told him I am going to the hospital, he was totally bewildered, was like what, how , when. I had never stepped in an ambulance before, the driver told me to lie down on the stretcher. I was thinking so many battles of life and death must be fought at this place. I was almost to a point where I was gonna loose consciousness, but thankfully I dint. After what felt like ages, the hospital arrived. The name of the hospital was, Mutthuswamy Kumar Ganpati Hospital!!! From out it looked like a residential building. As soon as I stepped in, I got hit by that sickening smell of a hospital. I don’t know how all hospitals manage to smell similar. From inside it looked like a world war II emergency ward. I was taken to a room where there was a guy before me who was getting treated, I guess he cut his leg or something, so there was blood lying everywhere and he was cryin with pain. Looking at that blood and that smell, I just found the nearest exit and puked right there.
I was still getting such spasms, I just asked isn’t there any other doctor, the nurse said no, she said she can give a injection to relieve the pain, I said no thanks, Ill wait for the doctor. By my guess, the nurse was just a 18 year old girl, as well as under qualified for this job. Finally the doctor came, he just asked me what happened, and he prescribed something and told me he will have to give me two injections, one in the veins and one in the butt and I had to get those meds myself form the pharmacy. The driver was there with me so I asked him could he get it for me, so he brought them, the doctor told the nurse to give me the injections. I was thinking to myself, if she has to give me a injection in my veins, how many attempts it will take for her to find my vein. I couldn’t risk that so I requested the doctor himself to give me those injections. He told me to lie on metal table where there was blood all over on it!! I told him can he at least get it cleaned. He took me to another room where he gave me those injections and prescribed some more meds and asked me whether I want drips. He told me I got “food poisoning”. I said no ways I am staying in this hospital even a single minute more. So I just took the meds and got the hell out of there. The pains reduced after an hour or so.
After I came back, my PM came to see me and saw my condition so told me to take rest. I was feeling bad that I fell sick and I wouldn’t be able to participate in further sessions, but I had no control over it. Entire day I was only sleeping, there was a problem for getting me lunch cuz there was no room service but I requested the reception and he knew about my condition so that was solved. I was completely sapped out of energy, even simple tasks like pouring water in a glass had become difficult. So when my colleagues came back in the evening, my PM asked me to take the first flight back home the next day and take the week off and rest.
Mom was surprised to see me cuz I hadn’t told them about my condition cuz I know she will worry simply. At least now I will get proper food and care. I have decided I am never ever going back to that hell of a place again.
All in all, Chennai sucks!!!
