They say to start something new is always the toughest part. But I believe once started something, maintaining its perpetual motion is even more difficult.
I believe most people live their lives in utmost ignorance of the purpose of why they are here. The peers surrounding them define a particular course of action, a aim is set and most of us trod on that path believing that is right for us. Now don get me wrong, I don presume myself to be enlightened, but I consider myself to be woken up and aware.
If I look back at the last 25 years of my life, 75% has been spent in pursuing goals that I thought was right for me in the long run which was as defined by the society and peers around me. I admit to have lived a empty life filled with pursuing mindless goals. When a series of unfortunate incidents that came my way, I realised, whats the purpose I am chasing after something so blindly and whats the purpose of my life. I had my principles and sticking by my values was the most veneered integrity in my life. I used to be god fearing but my faith has been shaken. I am reluctant to admit that I am a borderline atheist.
I believe in realistic goals, and I have achieved them far earlier than I had anticipated. Maybe that's the reason I feel this void in me. Maybe this is what they call the mid life crisis and I am going through that at just 26. If I think about it, would I be better off living in my shell to live just like all the others, maybe yes or maybe no. There is a question of what next. Is only the chase that gave me this high. Should I redefine my goals? But what next after meeting those goals. You see its a endless and pit less cycle. Living life in the fast lane has got me nowhere. Its only got me back to the starting line. You got to relax, step back and enjoy the finest moments in your life.
Recently I was thinking about people who live up to 100 or nearing 100. What really motivates them to live so longer? They would have seen so much all around them. People younger to them passing away, Organs failing, loosing memory n motor functions. I used to think, that if i ever met with an accident and if I couldn't walk again, I would rather end my life than living that wretched and miserable existence. But now after gone through one of the worst periods of my life I believe circumstances can make you handle any god damn problem coming in your way. Nothing is perfect, its all in your mind.
The mind plays huge tricks on us. To keep it in check and free of negativity is a herculean task but you gotta do it to have peace of mind. The only way to live this life is of acceptance. Sooner or later life teaches you the same.
If you look around there are so many people suffering due to lifestyle related diseases. I am not afraid of dying and if I live up to 60 I would be more than happy. But I would like to at least achieve a couple of unrealistic goals things before that happens, like writing a book, going to the himalayas, and a world tour. I am no more afraid of following my heart and listening to my inner voice. The heart wants what it wants.
A certain friend once said, "Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, 'WOW . . . What a ride!"
The only reason for the reply, your blog reminds me of my life, but in a different way (rather depressing way)
ReplyDeletecan't write as beautifully as you, but will tell u something by father told me once (it'll sound similar to what Paulo Coelho says, but dad's from the Geeta)
Once when I met with an unfortunate accident and was bed-ridden, my only cause of depression was the 'nothingness'
I had my medical leave from work, I couldn't walk (bed-ridden) so no outings of any kind... got tired of watching movies and reading books after 1 week on bed... finally called dad and told him I'm bored and don't wish for a life like this.
He was definitely sad to hear it, but he then asked me to start talking to my soul. He asked me to listen to the silence and notice things I would never notice when working. Even while on bed, I started writing... It started off with small stories about my real life, to short stories I would dream of.
Some made sense, some din't, but guess what? I was happy. I felt that I finally had some purpose in life.
Some of the stories written had simple meanings, and as I think back, I only thought of those because of the stories I heard my grandpa tell me as a child.
My goal in life was not where I am today... I had very different plans. But like elders say, whatever happens, happens for a reason. My father tells me that that reason is always good.
After my injury, I can say my life is somewhat better. I visited places I wouldn't otherwise go to. I met people I wouldn't have had a chance to meet (I worked roughly 12hrs/day, too exhausted to socialize), I sought out the reason for my existence, figured how can I contribute to this world, and above all, I read your blog and replied!
I can actually say, WOW... what a ride! even though I have many years ahead of me I know from now on, there shall never be a time when I feel I wish not to exist. Life is a gift, cherish it!
Regards,
Indigypsy
That was a really touching comment..
ReplyDeleteYou wrote it so well that it calls for a blog post.. You should write about it..
N ya, i would love to read the short stories that you wrote..
Life is what we choose for.We need to explore all the answers of life on our own.If you think you are stranded somewhere, which leading you nowhere then also you are the rescuer.We might seek help from peers but ultimately we are the supreme, to pave path for ourself.We ought to listen our hearth and follow it with concrete mindset only.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what else to write or say here, everything is been written with utmost clarity.
ReplyDeleteI can only add that i am glad i came across this post thereby your blog.
It feels so, so very familiar.
I guess i am done, don't have anything else to say.
Cheers and god bless :)